Recently i read a news item in TOI about how teenagers are losing their virginity at the age of 17.http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/relationships/man-woman/Virginity-lost-it-yet/articleshow/6119246.cms

I was reminded of Khushboo's comment while reading this and hence i decided to talk to my parents about pre marital sex.

This was the first time I had a talk about pre marital sex with my parents. As expected, my parents completely opposed the idea of pre marital sex. When asked why, my father said “you have a certain background and certain morals. Pre marital sex is ‘unholy’.” What made it funnier was my father hardly was vocal with the word “sex”. He stopped at pre marital! That is it! I was to assume it was about sex.

I, of course, as a teenager with active hormones, reacted strongly to this. Firstly, is sex the deciding factor of one’s morals? Would having sex before marriage make you “unworthy” of living in the society? As for that matter, is the ‘society’ supposed to know when I am having sex???

My parents were shocked goes without saying. They hadn’t expected this coming from me. They said I was raised as a good daughter. Hence I wasn’t supposed to have sex before marriage. Again, needless to say, I refuted. Then there emerged a fight, which then resulted with me being shouted at.
V
irginity, especially of a girl’s, is highly overrated. Girls are expected to behave in a certain way that again is decided by the ‘society’ around us. Drinking, smoking, drugs and sex apparently is tailor made for men. But if a woman enters the “restricted area”, she is termed as ‘characterless’, while a man is given leverage, only because he is a man, which again is none of his achievements.

While reading more about the same on the net, I read a comment by an activist. She had lived in England for nearly 30 years. And now when she is back in India, she finds India a lot changed and that too for good. She finds that youngsters are more pragmatic and very well aware of what they are indulging into.

I tried to reiterate the same to my parents. I am a 19 year old, legally allowed to indulge in sexual activities. Why then can I not have sex before marriage? Who are the so called “moral police” who decide what I should do in my personal life? What happens in my bedroom is nobody’s business. The “society” has no right to judge me. In fact nobody has the right to judge me. And even if I do indulge in sex, why would I proclaim it?

Moreover, is being a “good’ daughter only about getting married and have sex with a man whom you have never seen in your entire life and your parents point out him to you? And you have no option but to say yes!! Isn’t that a mellowed form of prostitution? The only difference being that it is recognized by the society?

What I cannot fathom is why sex is such a big taboo? Why is marriage seen as the license to have sex? Shouldn’t it be my decision whether I want to indulge in a no-strings attached sex or an emotional love making with a man?

From The Womb

Shriveled and tiny, I lay in the dark region
It wasn’t long that I had been there
I knew my mother, I knew my father
I knew the fact that they didn’t bother
They didn’t want me,
So they planned to kill me.

I could feel my mother’s anxiety,
I hated myself,
Why, oh, why
Why am I a girl?
I am not wanted,
I am not loved,
Nobody is anxious to receive me,
Like God had promised me
“My child, I am sending you to earth,
To a place where you will live long,
To two beautiful parents who will hold you tightly,
You will bring them utmost joy, and love and happiness
You will be theirs.”

I had jumped with joy,
Anticipating about my life,
About my parents,
But here I am,
Not able to speak out,
That I love them both,
I wouldn’t bring them grief
I would always keep them happy

But I couldn’t speak
I just lay there,
Helpless,
I knew I am not going to be born.
My mother told me that night
“My love you are always,
I am sorry I am doing this to you
But my daughter, you will live always in my heart.”

And that was the last time I heard her voice,
I experienced a seething pain,
I wanted to hold on to my mother
But couldn’t,
The place where I was
Just turned more darker,
And I couldn’t see anything.
Again.